I Just Want To Be Held When I'm Scared
by Dajypop
Summary: Josh had a bad habit, and Chris couldn't bring himself to do more than take care of him.


**Title:** I Just Want To Be Held When I'm Scared  
 **Author:** Daisy  
 **Fandom:** Until Dawn  
 **Setting:** Josh's House  
 **Pairing:** Josh Washington/Chris  
 **Characters:** Josh Washington, Chris, Dog OC: Bud  
 **Genre:** Romance/Angst  
 **Rating:** T  
 **Chapters:** 1/1  
 **Word Count:** 980  
 **Type of Work:** One-Shot  
 **Status:** Complete  
 **Warnings:** AU - Fix-it Fic, Top!Josh, Bottom!Chris, Psyche meds, Schizophrenia, Fluff, Post-Canon  
 **Disclaimer:** I don't own anything.  
 **Summary:** Josh had a bad habit, and Chris couldn't bring himself to do more than take care of him.

 **AN:** So… Todd was watching Markiplier and Jacksepticeye play Until Dawn. I listened to most of it, watched a little, and… I love this ship. Josh and Chris stole my heart. So, I thought I'd write some cute stuff with them. I'm going to eventually write a full background and fic around how they got together, but that's for another time, when I don't have 55 other chapter stories to finish. Dx

 **I Just Want To Be Held When I'm Scared** ****

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Silence stretched all around him like a bubble, the lack of any noise at all so odd and overcoming that even the din in the hallway didn't make it better. It was like the apartment was sound-proofed, and the first thought that struck him, even as he made a loud spectacle of throwing his keys into the bowl designated for it by the door and called out, was that Josh wasn't safe. Ever since Beth and Hannah's unfortunate 'accident', he'd been acting weirder and weirder, sure, but once they'd gotten him back onto his meds, everything seemed to get better. There was always that nagging thought, though. He'd let Josh down before, even if he'd been let down, as well, and he _understood_ why Josh sometimes did what he did. With this on his mind, he closed the door a bit quieter, peering over at the couch that was void of his lover, the chair, the kitchen and dining area… That left the bedroom.

Passing the washing machine and dryer on his way, Chris didn't bother to pull his jacket off, thinking maybe they could go for a drive if the other was feeling antsy. What he came upon, instead, had the hair on the back of his neck standing on end.

"Ch-Chris?" Josh mumbled weakly, head nearly ducked between his knees and fingernails crusted with blood. He couldn't see for sure, but in the dim light he vaguely made out that there were no visible cuts or anything; it appeared that the brunette had taken to chewing his fingernails to the quick, until they bled.

Immediately swooping into the room and tugging his best friend-turned-lover into his lap, he cradled the other in his arms, resting his ear over his heart.

"Josh… What happened?" He asked, quietly, as if speaking too loud might tip his lover into another fit of anxiety.

"I… I saw my pills on the table." Man, something must have really been wrong, because when Josh spoke, his voice cracked slightly and it seemed he'd been crying. Rubbing the other's back soothing, the blonde waited for him to continue, "And I went to make breakfast. I guess I pulled my chair out because Buddy got up on the table and swallowed them all up."

There was a short pause, and then, "I helped him puke them up, but it was… He ran and hid under the couch and hasn't come out, since."

Chris guessed it had been pretty traumatic for both of them. When he and Josh had decided to move in together, they had gotten the Queen's Beagle puppy off of Craigslist so that the other man would have something to love on whenever the blonde had school or work. Usually, they were the best of friends, but if Bud was still hiding, that meant that maybe he'd have to go check on him when he was sure that his lover was safe and okay.

"Shh…" Realizing, suddenly, that the other had begun to cry, he hummed softly for him, whatever tune was in his head usually worked, rocking a little with the other and allowing him to hide his face in his chest. "It's alright, Josh, get it out. Did anything else happen?"

"W-well…" Hiccuping a little and trying to snuffle himself into a state where he could speak again, the elder male rubbed frantically at his face. "I read some things online that were bad, too. Then I heard a weird noise and… I came in here. I hid under the bed for a little while… I guess I was also scared you'd be mad I didn't take my pills."

Tutting softly, the younger male gently tried to pry Josh's hold off his knees so he could get a good look at him. Struggling at first, he focused amber eyes on his lover, the blue there calm and gentle, so he let himself be unfolded and sighed a little.

"Let me see." Whispering softly, the blonde pecked his lover's forehead before gently moving him to sit on the bed. "Josh, I'm not mad at you, alright?" He questioned, kissing the other's lips shortly before getting up and slowly, gently checking the other's arms. After a little bit, he finally spoke again, "Show me."

Having the decency to look sheepish as he pulled his shirt off, he tried to smile weakly as if to say he was sorry as the scratches on his chest, stomach, sides and back were bared to the somewhat chill apartment air. Shaking his head slowly, the bespectacled man moved to kneel before the other, kissing each mark as he discovered it, stroking over his nervous lover's sides. The quaking that had started with more tears seemed to ebb to a soft tremble, and when he finally pulled his eyes to Chris', a small smile formed even as the tears rolled down his cheeks. Leaning up, the blonde kissed his way to the other's damp eyelashes and smiled sweetly.

"What do you want to do, babe?" He questioned gently, every breath falling on those tear-stained cheeks.

"I… I d-don't know." But whatever he wanted to do, it involved the man so lovingly taking care of him. Without much prodding, he dressed down to a shirt and pair of boxers, as did his lover, and they crawled into bed. Soon, they could hear the jingle of Buddy's collar as he trotted in and hopped up to lay over his daddies' hips as they spooned, the bespectacled male holding and petting his lover as the sobs shook his shoulders again, until he went still. Looking down, he smiled a little, unable to find the image of Josh clinging to his shirt and sleeping somewhat peacefully not adorable. He figured, for now, they could wait on the pills. They'd just have to make sure that Josh took them in the morning.

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 **AN:** There we go. A bit of angsty fluff. ouo Hope you guys enjoy!


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